


Surviving It

by Tesseractingrey



Series: Forgiveness [1]
Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Gen, mama may, post 5x16
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-21
Updated: 2020-05-21
Packaged: 2021-03-03 01:00:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,338
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24306310
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tesseractingrey/pseuds/Tesseractingrey
Summary: May talks to Daisy about surviving trauma. (Post 5x16)
Relationships: Melinda May & Skye | Daisy Johnson
Series: Forgiveness [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1864072
Comments: 1
Kudos: 45





	Surviving It

**Author's Note:**

> Daisy is obviously (and justifiably) really upset at Fitz at this point in canon, but we never really get a true resolution between the two of them, although Daisy seems to have moved on from it eventually. This is my take on how she comes to terms with things, and also a commentary on how amazing she is for having survived so much. Plus I just really like writing Mama May — I feel like this is stuff that Daisy really needs to hear, and that May is the only one who could say it to her.

After setting course for the mountains that Robin had directed them towards, May put the Quinjet on autopilot and went to go find Daisy. She was pacing around, clenching and unclenching her fists, restless, but with nothing to do. The look in her eyes was making the other agents shy away, not wanting to upset her further. May walked right up to Daisy, stepping into her path and forcing her to stop moving.

“Come with me.” Not waiting to see if she was following, May walked to the back of the Quinjet, where they would have a bit of privacy. “I need you to listen to me.” She paused, waiting until Daisy met her eyes. 

“Things are really rough right now, but you are going to be okay.” Daisy opened her mouth to respond, but May held up a hand to stop her. 

“Listen: there’s a lot that’s going on right now, but you have been through worse and gotten through it. You’ve been hurt by Fitz and you’re allowed to be upset by it, but you are going to get through this. This isn’t the first time he hurt you: it might not have been him personally hurting you physically in the framework, but The Doctor was responsible, and the things he said to you were emotional torture. The difference now is that this was the real Fitz, but he also had a logical reason for doing it, unlike in the framework. You managed to get through getting hurt by him before, and you can do it again.” 

Daisy sat down heavily on one of the nearby seats, still looking at May, but not sure how to respond. What she was saying was, surprisingly, making sense, but perhaps that wasn’t so surprising coming from May. Daisy had known her long enough to know that May was a woman of few words, so those that she chose to speak were important. 

“A small part of you agrees with him; knows this is what had to happen.” Daisy looked ready to interject here, but May once again held up a hand to stop her, needing to make her point before letting Daisy respond. “There is no point in trying to change time if we do it by letting a different disaster destroy the planet. When you told us you didn’t want to come back to the present, you said that you knew there would be some reason why we would have to remove your inhuman control device, even though you think you’re safer with it on. On some level, you _knew_ this was going to happen.” 

Looking down at her hands to fidget with one of her sleeves, Daisy wanted to be stunned at how well May knew her, but she couldn’t be. May was perceptive, a trait common in those who understand the value of silence. Daisy wanted to argue with her, but the logic did hold up. As much as she hated to admit it, a small part of her really did agree with Fitz. She wasn’t an idiot; she may have a lot of confusing emotions swirling in her gut right now, but she could recognize that her powers were the only feasible solution to a possibly world-ending problem. Daisy wasn’t sure that in the stress of the moment that there was a world where she could’ve _agreed_ to having her inhuman control device removed, since she was still terrified of destroying the world, but part of her did understand now why Fitz felt like he had to do it. Daisy sighed, running a hand through her hair and looking up to meet May’s eyes again. 

“I-I guess part of me does get it, but the thought of letting Fitz out of the cell kinda terrifies me. I know that _logically_ he isn’t going to hurt me again and that _logically_ he might have even done the right thing, and I can even see myself _forgiving_ him someday, but it still terrifies me. Isn’t that so messed up?” May came to sit down next to Daisy, quirking her mouth into one of her classic almost-smiles of sympathy. 

“You are allowed to be upset at Fitz, allowed to not forgive him, allowed to not trust him, regardless of the logic. The important thing to focus on right now is that you _will_ come to terms with all of this, and that it is not going to hurt forever. You’ve gotten shot and have had your heart restarted several times; you can handle physical pain. You were betrayed by Ward — which was worse than being betrayed by Fitz, because Fitz isn’t secretly a murderous double agent — and you survived that, even managing to _forgive_ him in the end.” Daisy smiled a little bit at this, acknowledging the truth in May’s words, but quickly became serious again as she continued. 

“This is by no means the most emotional pain you’ve ever been in either, because you have survived the man you loved sacrificing himself for you. I know you’re really worried about Coulson and I am too, but, worst case scenario, if he’s dead, you can survive that too, because you survived Lincoln.” At this, Daisy looked down at her hands again, biting her lip. 

“I’m...not so sure I’ve survived Lincoln’s death. I still really miss him.” 

“I still miss Andrew, you know.” Daisy’s head snapped back up, looking at May in surprise. That was the kind of personal detail that she would usually never tell anyone, but she knew Daisy needed to hear this. Daisy could only stare at her, open-mouthed, too caught off guard to respond. 

“The pain of losing someone never fully goes away, but we get used to it. Missing him doesn’t mean you haven’t survived it; it means you are perfectly normal. What you have survived is the phase where everything reminds you of them, the phase where you’re on the verge of tears almost constantly. You can talk about him and think back on him fondly now without dissolving: that’s surviving. You should be proud of yourself for what you’ve been able to survive.” She paused, waiting for Daisy to nod timidly in understanding before continuing. “My point of all of this isn’t to minimize what you’re going through — you’re allowed to be scared and angry and upset. You’re allowed to be scared and angry and upset while also acknowledging that what Fitz did wasn’t illogical. I just want to remind you that you have been through worse and you have survived it, so you _will_ survive this too.” 

Rather than struggling to find the words to respond right away, Daisy impulsively wrapped her arms around May. To her surprise, May hugged her back just as tightly. 

“Thank you,” she whispered from where her face was pressed against May’s shoulder, not pulling away just yet. When she did pull away, she met May’s eyes once again, noticing her small smile. 

“I’m really scared about having my powers back, but I can’t say that I totally hate it. Being inhuman scares me a lot sometimes, but I guess it’s still just who I am? There’s always at least a small part of me that’s smiling when I’m quaking something, regardless of why I’m doing it. It just...it feels _right_.” May nodded sympathetically, knowing she felt the same when she was doing tai chi. Whether she was calmly going through her morning routine or applying the moves in a fight, something about it always made part of her feel better. 

“I have to believe that we can change time, but I don’t think we can really change who we truly are.” Taking a deep breath, May stood up. “But for now, let's just focus on saving Coulson.” 

“Yeah, he really needs to stop getting kidnapped — isn’t this the third time now?” Daisy responded, standing up as well. May smiled slightly at this, glad to see Daisy joking around again. 

“Yep: by Centipede, by AIDA, and now by Hale.” 

“We live such strange lives.”

**Author's Note:**

> Maybe I’ll write a sequel where we actually get that resolution conversation between Fitz and Daisy because I have to imagine it has happened, but the idea for this one was just to show that there is hope and she is going to be okay.


End file.
